Why You May Never Find Love

Heartbreak, according to Brianna Wiest, is when somebody fails to fit into the specific notion we created of them. Suddenly, we are heartbroken because we expected that someone would behave in a certain way, and they did not. As long as we allow our expectations of fulfillment to lie with a fellow human being, we set up ourselves for heartbreak. Making us happy is not the reason people exist. These people have their own goals and lives to live, and it is a little unfair to try to force someone to be somebody else. Fulfillment, especially in the area of romance, does not work they way we think it does, and want it to. Fulfillment comes by being able to be responsible for something, in this case, the well-being of someone. Unconditional love on our part is therefore our ability to love someone unconditionally, even if they don’t love us unconditionally. That is not something many people are willing to do, and it could explain why love has eluded many of us, including myself. When we only love someone because of what they can do for us, what about the days when they will be unable to do these things. Take beauty of instance, nothing will remain of that shapely body in a few years. So when her face is wrinkled, and most of her teeth have fallen out, will you still love her? Love goes beyond a woman’s face or body. It’s a good thing to love a pretty woman, but that’s not all there is to love.

Love usually asks so much of us than we are ever ready or willing to give. What happened with all your other crushes? Why did you suddenly lose interest in all those boys you thought you loved? It’s hard to say, right? So what makes you think that you won’t lose interest in your current crush as well? The advice being advanced in the world, is that whenever we think we like someone, we should tell them. I don’t think that is ever the right thing to do. You like her, so what! You want her to be your girlfriend? Why? He is the right man for you? How did you know? Does your mentor agree?

Commitment is the reality of love that we are never willing to accept. Love is only beautiful when those in love are willing to commit to one another, and mostly commitment is independent of the other person. When we are truly in love, we don’t commit to someone because they have committed to us. Every successful love story or relationship has been so because of commitment. Love is a trade-off we are making; we are essentially saying that we are willing to focus on someone else for the season they are in in our lives. Most of us think that it will be beautiful for that person to focus on us as well. What if they won’t?

The Bible says that those who regard the wind will not sow. Love is a risk we take gladly. Aware that in the end, we risk being hurt, but choose to love anyway. If we truly love someone, we take that risk, because we know that it’s in loving them that our lives will make sense, not in them loving us.